Tales of the Star and Hoodie
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Just a series of one-shots, also a fan resource. Feel free to ADOPT whatever you want. Also Feel free to leave me Story ideas. I'm also willing to be bribed in 'Shake up the falls' chapters to continue three one-shot's that you like. Rated M for a reason! You've been warned! Reviews will be responded to inside!
1. Nurse Star

**Tales of the Star and Hoodie**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Marco Diaz had just finished leaving swim class and heading back to the lockers-

EMERGENCY!

FRONT AND CENTER BOYS AND GIRLS!

LINE UP!

Although startled by the coach's deceleration. Marco, the boys and the girls just shrugged and walked back to the pool to get in line-

**RIP!**

Their swimsuits being ripped off by guys in hazmat suites WAS a bit of a shock though.

"Hey, what gives!?" Snapped a now naked Wong. "Pool's been contaminated! We need to sterilize and inspect you all!" Shouts the Haz-mat guy as he burns their suites.

Their forcibly washed and scrubbed, then since their 'privates' are the most vulnerable their forced to line up and expose themselves to see if they have signs of infection...

...which...if Marco was being honest terrified him. For, to put it bluntly...he had a tiny dick. His schlong was the size of a raisin and his nuts were the size of sesame seeds...and having just been in the water had caused even MORE shrinkage!

Seeing as putting their hands anywhere near their privates got them yelled at, he could do nothing less he got attention called to himself!

Fortunately, Marco had three things going for him:

1\. they were standing shoulder to shoulder in a single line and eye's forward, that plus he had guys on both sides made it unlikely that any girl would see him.

2\. he had a bit of hair, 'down there' which hopefully would obscure him even more from prying eyes

3\. Fergson was on his side and his belly was big enough to obscure even more of him.

So, really. As long as he just stayed still and silent...

"Sorry I'm late!" shouts a familiar voice.

Marco went red, _"No, it can't be! Not HER!" _He screamed internally.

But it was...the ditzy high school nurse Star Butterfly! Marco had known her his entire high-school life. Because of his obsession with 'being safe', he had spent hours there...'assisting' her(AKA: keeping her from blowing the school up and causing injuries to skyrocket!).

...and this, she'd become a good friend...a very attractive OLDER and FEMALE friend who was now going to be inspecting his privates!

Marco began to sweat bullets, using his peripherals...he saw her...in a red bikini that frankly was two sizes two small for her!

Marco went very red, WHY!? WHY!? Why would she wear that?!"

"Okay, Oscar! Your erection is firm and healthy! Your good to go!" Exclaimed Star outloud.

There some snickering as a humiliated looking Oscar quickly streak away in shame.

Marco groans...in hindsight, he guess he could understand the logic. If his...'equipment' were...'functional' in it's main...'duty'...that was a sign of being 'healthy'. This also explained why Star was being used for this...while wearing 'that'. NO warm blooded male could resist that sight!

Marco, whimpered as one by one he saw guys flee in shame after her 'inspection'...a rather LOUD inspection at that.

...but no girls? Weird, he was certain-

"Hey! Why are you skipping all the girls!?" Snapped the voice of an annoyed Wong.

"That requires a DIFFERENT type of inspection! I'll go back around after I've dealt with the guys!"

Marco, started to sweat bullets, the girls would still be here?! When- when she got to HIM!?

Marco tried very hard not to panic, he tired to look around to see if he could make a break for it!

"HEY! STAND STILL! EYE'S FORWARD! HANDS AT SIDES! WE ARE AUTHORIZED TO USE LETHAL FORCE TO KEEP THIS VIRUS CONTAINED!"

Marco whimpered, but complied- GUNS?! WHO BROUGHT GUNS TO CONTAIN A VIRUS AT A SCHOOL!?

With no choice, Marco is forced to sweat bullets as Star gets closer. More guys are allowed to go, but still no girls...

_"Do inspection, then run. Do inspection, then run. __Do inspection, then run. Do inspection, then run. __Do inspection, then run. Do inspection, then run. __Do inspection, then run. Do inspection, then run. __Do inspection-_

"HELLO MARCO!"

Marco would've jumped out of his skin if a warning shot hadn't flown across his shoulder, Marco nearly wet himself as it left a small nick there.

Star just smiled at him, "I wondered when I'd see you! How you been!?" She asked, seemingly oblivious to how her bouncing and getting down on bended knee was giving Marco an ample view of her 'jiggles'.

Marco gulped, "Uh, Star? Do you think we could just...get this over with? Please?" He pleaded.

Star smirked, "Sure thing." She bent down more to examine him...then her smirk went to a frown...

Marco sighed in relief, sure it was awkward. But no one could see him, Feguson's belly covered his left, Star was blocking his front, the girl to his right was too sacred to even THINK of looking to the side. So if he just grin and bear it a little while longer-

"Hey guys! I might need tweezers and a microscope! My friend, Marco Diaz's genitals are abnormally small!" Shouted Star concerned, could her friend be infected?

Marco's eye's nearly popped out his skull! He could hear all the girls in the entire line whisper; "Did she just say-" "Marco? Marco Diaz?" "The 'Safety Kid'?" "She need's a microscope to examine him?(giggle)"

The giggling and snickering shatter Marco's ego as he instinctively tried to cover up-

**BANG!**

"HEY! I DON'T CARE HOW SMALL YOUR DINGUS IS OR HOW MUCH THE LADIES LAUGH AT IT! UNTIL YOUR CLEARED OF THE VIRUS, YOU KEEP IT UNCOVERED! YOUR LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN YOUR MODESTY, IDIOT BOY!"

"That's easy for you to say..." Grumbled Marco to himself, but he obeyed. That last warning bullet nearly made his bladder lose it, and on top of everything else he didn't need that!

As it happens, Star really only needed the tweezers and microscope in case the virus started to kill Marco- sadly she did not elaborate this, so when the microscope was brought to her and everyone saw this, they only assumed the worse at poor Marco's expense, and the giggling got louder.

Marco started to sob...this was the worst day ever! "Oh, don't cry Marco! I promise I'll keep you healthy!" Exclaimed the oblivious nurse as she continued to examine him.

"Marco, I need you to think 'sexy' for me! One of the main cures for the virus is the endorphins caused by arousal! I need you to be erect! Quick!" Ignoring her own embarrassment, she pressed her breasts against his body.

But Marco...Marco just couldn't! Too many eyes on him! Too public! Too embarrassed! And thus...his 'performance' was having a rather blatant 'issue'.

"Oh, no! Marco, do you have erectile dysfunction too!? This is serious! That's one of the later stages of the virus!" Exclaims Star horrified.

Sadly, most of the girls, only really heard the first half. The second half was mostly overshadowed by their laughter.

Again, not paying attention to ANY of this, Star was mainly focused on Marco's health, "GAH! There's no light over here! Marco, get over here!"

Next thing Marco knew, he was being rapidly dragged away from his cover and forced to expose himself in front of everyone!

"There! I can see better now!"

"And so can we!" Shouts Jana, excited while all the other girls laugh, they laughed even harder when Star grabbed his schlong and commented; "Oh, Marco...your so LIMP...no, this isn't good at all."

...Marco was seriously considering letting the guards shoot him at this moment. All the girls in school; Jana, Wong, Ashley, and JACKIE were laughing at him!

"It's like a blade of grass!"

"Huh, I thought a 'micro-penis' was just an urban myth..."

"My newborn brother is bigger then that!"

"Is that your dick, Marco or just a mosquito bite?"

Marco whimpered and began to sob.

"Don't worry Marco, I think I know what's wrong!" Shouts Star triumphantly as she pulls out a razor, before Marco could stop her...she'd clean shaved him of all his hair 'down there'...Marco hadn't felt it was possible to be more emasculated...and yet here it was...

"Ah, it's like a tiny, baby, hairless caterpillar!" Teased Janna.

Marco couldn't help it, he was flat out sobbing now.

"Marco, don't be sad! I'm going to give you a one-on one treatment!" She grabbed Marco and practically dragged him out of the pool area-

WHACK!

Obliviously racking him in the groin on the door frame as she dose so. Marco moaned in pain as she took him to a private janitor closet.

Marco brushed the tears of pain and humilation from his face, "Star, what are we doing-

**RIP!**

Marco's eye's widen as star rips of her bikini. "Listen Marco, I know this is inappropriate...but this might be the only way to get you aroused and therfore cured! You with me?"

Marco could only nod dumbly...

...several hours later...

"I give you a clean bill of health! See you tomorrow Marco!" Shouted Star happily.

Marco smiles as he walks naked from the closet, thanks her politely and leaves.

...when he's gone...star smirks and pulls out her wand, "That was fun!" She says to herself as her spell makes the fake disease and the fake government agents she conjured up vanish...

"I can't wait for tomorrow!" She whistles a merry tune as she conjures clothes and leaves...

Marco is still walking away with a silly grin on his face...then he remembers: "Wait, I'm still naked!" He calls out in horror, he runs to go back into the school...but it's locked...

Marco sighed as he made the long streak home...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. New wand AU: MysterD47

**Tales of the Star and Hoodie**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Guest: sorry this took so long...what did you think of the finale? I certainly liked it!

MysterD47: Hope you enjoy this! Sorry your idea took so long to get to!

...III...

Marco wasn't asking much after being kidnapped and nearly getting blown to bits by a psychotic lizard man...just a quite afternoon of taking a shower, relaxing and eating nachos...

...So naturally, Star almost completely exposes Marco to the internet WHILE HE'S IN THE SHOWER! "I don't want the computer to watch me shower!"

**ZAP!**

...and of course Star's 'new' wand choose that time to go berserk-

**ZAP!**

MY TOWEL!

...and zap him naked into the closet-

**BOOM!**

-And through the back wall and right onto the lawn-

**ZAP!**

...Annnnnd now there was a weird energy barrier around the house because...why not?

Marco, flustered and covering himself quickly runs to the front door and frantically tries to work the door knob only to find the barrier won't let him open it...

"Star!? What's happening here?!" Shouted an increasingly panicky Marco as he hastily looked back and forth to make sure no one was around...

"Uh...I think my wand knocked you outside...and put a forcefield around your house...sorry." She whimpered that last bit.

Marco hastily banged on the field. "Star! I'm NAKED and OUTSIDE! DO SOMETHING!" He hissed as loud as he dared.

"Uh...okay...um...I'll go...find...something...Oh! I'll get Glossaryck! Just...hang tight?" She says that last part weakly.

"HANG TIGHT?! STAR, I'M NAKED OUTSIDE!" Shouted Marco enraged. He then covers his mouth and quickly looks around to make sure no one heard...then gives a sigh of relief...

**HONK!**

"Hey there sweet cheeks!" Shouts a passing motorist as she honks causing Marco to jump, he quickly tries to cover both his willy and rear and run into the backyard.

Meanwhile, Glossaryck teaches the secret of life the universe...and metaphors...

"My wand isn't a spoon. It's a wand."

Glossaryck groans...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. For want of a Moon, Earth was Cleaved

**For want of a Moon, the Earth was Cleaved**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

YOUR A LIAR!

Shouted Rhombulus as he beat up the partially crystallized rat. The rest of the Magical High Commission ignore him and continue their search for Glossaryck and the book of spells.

Lekmet moves a pillar on the ground aside and finds a pile of corn. He bites one of the pieces of corn, and the book of spells falls out. "Hmm?" He spits out corn and picks up book. "Baaaa!" He shouts to the others.

Hekapoo, Omnitraxus, and Rhombulus quickly regroup with Lekmet. "You found Glossaryck?" Asked Omnitraxus.

Lekmet opened the book-

**BOOM!**

-and was immediately blown to bits as the mystic bomb hidden inside the book was triggered.

The rest of the High Commission was knocked away, dazzed but alive...

"CHANCELLOR! NO!" Shouted Rhombulus in horror as Lekmet's remains crumbled to dust...

"Huh, not quite what I had in mind...but not going to complain."

They all turn around to see Ludo, glowing and hovering over the shell that USED to be Queen Moon...dead to the world...

...

_'Star, it's called summer, and it's gonna be great.' _These words echo in a still sad Stars mind as she tries to ignore the roller coaster of emotions coursing through her body and force herself to go to her room...

Marco, oblivious to his friends turmoil...went back to partying, the joyful atmosphere returned...

So of course...

MARCO!

Marco turns to see a VERY panicky Star, her eye's dripping with tears. Everyone gasps. Ponyhead rolls her eyes, "Loud." "Star?" Asked Marco confused.

"Marco, we need to talk. Just one last time-

"Star? Are you crying? What-

"Never mind that! Some stuff just came up, and I've only got a little time-

"Star! Calm down! Talk to me! We have plenty of time-

"NO WE DON'T! Marco, just...LISTEN, please?!" Marco nodded.

Star takes a deep breath, "I don't know how to tell you this, because you're my best friend...and that makes this super weird because...because I... I... I _do_ have a crush on you."

Everyone in the room gasps again. "Who called it?! I called it! Boom!" Shouted Ponyhead.

Marco was speechless, but Star continued...

"I didn't want to admit it because I know you don't feel the same way, and I thought if I just pretended the feelings weren't there, they'd go away. But they haven't. I have to leave Earth, probably forever, and I couldn't go without telling you the truth." Starfan13 promptly faints.

Marco didn't know how to respond to this! "Uh... I, uh..."

"Good-bye! Good-bye, everyone!" Sobs Star as she pulls out Hekapoo's spare interdimensional scissors. Marco finally shakes off being stunned and runs to to stop her- Star slashes the scissors down...and nothing happens?

...there was a long...awkward pause...confused, Star makes several more slashes...but nothing. "What the-

"Yeah...most of my magic got drained...none of my scissors work...we can't get back to Mewni...sorry...I should've mentioned that sooner...

Marco(and everyone else) turns and is shocked to see a badly beaten Hekapoo, her dress burnt and tattered...

"Hekapoo?! What are you- "Oh, for the love of- Look, I'm in a pain right now. So I'm only going to explain this once more before I fall to the floor for the night." She takes a deep breath, "Toffee is back, The rest of the Magical High Commission is dead. Star's mom is dead- WHAT!? -Mewni is probably in danger and I'm basically powerless now! Good night everyone!" She shouts to everyone before falling to the ground unconscious...

...you could hear a pin drop...the silence was only broken by a sobbing Star's increased attempts to stab the void with the now useless scissors...

"Awkward." Whispered a now very uncomfortable Ponyhead...

Starfan13 picks herself off the ground and begins to shout! "Okay people! We get a Cerberus Syndrome situation here! Parties over! All secondary characters, background characters and comic relief leave now! That goes for you clowns too!" She shouts as she shoo's out the party clowns...

Ferguson and Alfonzo shrug, "Eh, we were irrelevant in the grand scheme of things anyway." Said Ferguson as he left. "Call us if you need someone to fill in the background!" Shouted Alfonzo as he left as well.

"Wait, I'm no background character!" Shouted Britney. Starfan13 looked at her skeptically "Have you had even ONE speaking line this entire season?"

Britney slumped her head in defeat and left...

Not wanting to leave a sobbing Star's side, Marco texts Jackie that he's sorry...but he needs to be there for Star...

Jackie looks...conflicted...but she nods and texts back that it's okay...then leaves without a word...

As the last one out, Starfan13 turns back inside, "Okay...sorry, but I have to asks this for legal reasons. Is is safe to assume the Livestream Starchat is cancelled?"

Marco glares back as he holds a sobbing Star. "Cancelled, got it. Call me if you need anything Star! Hope you feel better, girl!" And with that she closes the door...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	4. Rise of an Empire: ImperialStar

**Marcos Evangelicos Perez Jimenze v.s. the forces of evil**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

**AN: Another update for ImperialStar! Give him so me love people! ...also he gave 80% of the of the material in this chapter.  
**

...

Marcos Evangelicos Perez Jimenze- Former President of Venezuela -was confused...and apparently a baby...

He did not remember what happened when he felt a strong blow, felt the air coming out of his lungs (who hit him in the ass ?, and why?) and resumed his conscience, the last thing he remembered was a horrible pain in his chest and his arm went numb, after that everything went black which he immediately recognized as a heart attack who was sure he had killed him.

But he was not dead, since he was conscious and thinking. So he had surely survived, not surprising. He was someone strong enough to survived a coup d'etat. Now he survived a stroke, and now he could presume that he again escaped from the heat of the grim reaper.

He got a lot of confusion and a big surprise when he decided to open his eyes again.

Because when he did he was received by the sight of a very beautiful woman, and a man. At first he thought they were the doctors who attended him, and that was why they were so close. But he discard that idea after seeing they had normal clothes or uniforms, and also that the doctors were further away. The great confusion came when he saw them so close to him, and smiling at him with a lot of love.

The confusion grew when he tried to move and realized that he could not move, and increased more when he licked his lips and discovered that he had no teeth! What was happening? Did he fall to the floor and break them all at once?

he realized one more detail, and when he did, he put all his feet together, and that was that everything was much bigger than him, from the odjetos to the people, and he did it when he realized that the woman was loading with great ease.

The confusion turned into a massive surprise when when he realized what happened...

...

Now we take a leap in time, to a 17 years old Marcus, and finds himself thinking about how everything has been since he was reborn.

From the shock he had when he saw that he not only died, but that he came back to life was something massive that took 2 years to recover. Just when his younger brother arrived. But until that moment, he believed that everything was a kind of delirious dream. And that they were still in a hospital bed, struggling between life and death after that heart attack.

but after realizing that this new life was not a dream, he calmed down, and got down to work to take advantage of this new opportunity to do things right. With his military and business intelligence, as well as his determination, he managed in a short time to Earn the respect and almost complete control of Echo Creek.

...Which was easy when a chess master plays against someone who is playing candy land. "¡Sangre mío! Did a stupidity virus infect all adult life since I was gone!?"_  
_

He decided not to tell anyone what it really was for more than obvious reasons...

He realized his new family is the best. His parents are proud of him for being an excellent student and have a promising career, both in politics, as military and industrial.

And his brother Marco admires him and tries to follow his example. Being someone organized and neat, although he does not get the same results(in fact his obsession with organization is almost a deterrent at times), Marcus is always there to help his little brother.

At first he thought Marco was also a reincarnate like him- as he seemed more rational and intelligent then most- but after awhile he realized that he was just a normal boy. Something that distances them a little...much to both brothers despair...

He is surprised by all the technological advances that have been since his ... death, and how fast the world advanced. There were no flying cars, no robots. At least... if there was a flying car and robots...they wouldn't be around for awhile...and not in the way most people seemed to hope...

The military had also evolved in tactics, technology, weapons and other things that he could not imagine ... Or at least the technologies that let the public know. Which makes you wonder what kind of wonders, or horrors, will have been hidden by the militias of the world.

The renewed fascination for these wonders revived his love for the militia, which led him to want to go back to being a military man again, and perhaps one day he would recover his post as general, even if he was not from the Venezuelan armed forces.

He also became a big fan of video games thanks to this- well, this and his little brother -who in an attempt to be bond with his older brother -introduced him to games like Call of Duty, Medal of Honor, Battlefield among many more. Which made him a fan of video games from multiple genres, bequeathing a huge gamer and geek side.

He also developed a small interest in the paranormal, in search of an answer to the reason for his reincarnation and He search the internet, he was surprised at how much the cyber highway evolved. He looked into people who have reincarnated, but did not advance much. He didn't find anything that would could be really credible. Most people in forums, chats and other 'experts' on this subject. They certainly THOUGHT they had been reincarnated and had been another person in their past life... but such claims were often dubious at best. But nothing was certain, not like him.

He was also interested in the advancement of industry, that also made it fun. As now everything became faster, in greater quantity and with less effort. All thanks to new technological advances. so not only was love for the militia alive as he was. But a also a new one for infrastructure, science and technology.

So he set out to work to be reelected again. Become once more a military leader and help his people, turning his country into a greater power then it was.

The main problem was that he had not yet decided which way to go to achieve this. Also the issue that the world had changed a lot since he died and reincarnated. So there were things that he still had not fully understood or assimilate yet.

His opinion about his country of origin- that is to say Venezuela -was quite sour. He wanted to see how it was after he died. The fate of the country under the command of Hugo Chavez...well, let's just say his mother had to wash his mouth out with soap afterword...

He saw how his country was destroyed until almost the same time by organized communism and crime. He saw as his people died of misery, hunger, disease. Diseases that in his time- before he died -had already been eradicated. He saw how diamntes , oil and other riches of his country had been used to pay mercenaries, the Russians and Chinese. And then went on todestroy the natural beauties- such as 'Angel Falls' -to fill their pockets and not to help their people His rage, massive disgust and sadness was immeserable...he had to take a sabbatical for over a month away from his town and family to get his thoughts in order

Though it broke his heart... he knew could not do anything about it, not only because he had a new nationality now. Not only because he made it clear long ago- in 83 to be precise -that his country was no longer in the conditions to be a power. But also because it was the people of his own country who sought this desevestaion, he always believed that a country had the governors it deserves. And when he was expelled from his homeland...it got exactly that...

So he would devote himself to governing the United States, helping to clear the reputation and general opinion that the world had about this country

He would make the United States a progressive power. taking decisions that nobody wanted to take, such as ending the war on drugs- which only empowers organized crime.

But even so, that they suffer that way left him with a horrible sensation in his soul. He wanted to do something to repair it so badly! Before it spreads all over the world! but between corruption among a useless elite, the organized crime with more power that never, great powers like China and Russia keeping everything the same and beneficial to themselves, and all the bad decisions that the world is taking... It would take magic to fix this mess!

...

A garbage truck drives toward a street and lets out a 17 year old boy out on it. "Thanks for the lift Gus!" Said they boy.

The guy saluted him. "Anytime, Mr. Diaz sir!" And away he went. Marcus walked down the street toward his house.

_"(Sigh) Today was tiring...and saddening...the adults of this time are idiots! It should not be feasible for a kid my age to gain as much power and influence as I have!...I guess I can't complain though..."_

He turns toward his house. "_Right, enough of that! Time to relax in family's nice house...That has a giant castle tower spouting out of it!?"_

Marcus looks at the tower sticking out of his home baffled. "_How on earth...How'd that get there! It wasn't here this morning...and there's no way anyone could build something that big in a single day!"_

It was at that moment that he noticed an adorable puppy crawling up to him. "Well hello there, little thing. Where did you come from?" He reaches down to pet him.

**ZAP!**

GAH! Shouted Marcus as he barely avoided getting his flesh being horribly burnt by lasers. "_Okay, something is definitely wrong here!"_ He quickly ran into the house. He found his family in the dinning room.

"Mother, Father, Marco? This...this is going to sound crazy...but there's a tower on our roof...and a puppy just zapped me with a laser."

To his surprise his family just laughed! "Oh, that's just Star! She's the new exchange student!" It was at that moment that the most energetic, colorful girl that Marcus had ever met bounced into the room.

"Hey Star! This is my big brother Marcus!" Said Marco as he introduced her.

Star smiled at him. "Hey Marcus! I'm a magical Princess from another dimension!" Shouted Star as she created a rainbow...that caught on fire...and activated the sprinklers...

Marcus just stared at her blankly for a second... "Riiiight...I'm...going for a walk...until things are...sane again." Stated Marcus simply as he walked out of the house...

...

Marcus was slapping and discreet pinching, while his mind worked at 1,000,000% of its normal capacity, all to try to make sense of the nonsense that was happening in front of him.

Since he was reborn, few things had managed to surprise him. His body might have been that of a 16-year-old boy, but his mind was that of a 103-year-old man. And since he discovered the internet and its content, this had been reinforced .

So his ability to think cold and calculated was also magnificent, and that was something that caught the attention of the people around him. Sometimes this was bad, since they used to confuse him with someone with a cold chest. But in the end, it was more beneficial than anything. Especially in an emergency, since he would be the first to be consulted to provide a solution.

It is not that he could not be captivated by a beautiful landscape, or be impressed by the special effects of the films of today, or technological advances in general. That he could not be impressed did not mean that he had no emotions.

But this girl, this 'Star Butterfly'. She had achieved something that the former president did not believe possible since his rebirth: that she left him completely stunned and speechless...and it was not because of her bubbling and euphoric attitude, it was not because of her beauty, nor the fact that she was a princess.

His mind did overflow with several shocking truths in a row...

_'...that it was a princess of another universe that created the will to be alive and fantasy out of nothingness, and that at will she could almost alter reality at will, all with its magic battery?'_ His mind rambled in chaos...

He shook his head, he was thinking nonsense! He took a deep breath and started again...

so simplifying:

1\. there is magic.  
2\. there are other universe.  
3\. there are living beings with appearance and abilities beyond imagination, some more than others.  
4\. and all that power can be easily reached by a child.

This was too much for his brain to process at once, all while his mind worked to have a coherent response...

Soon he returned home, thankfully his family and their new 'tenant' were fast asleep. Come morning he'd have to deal with it all but for now... He fell asleep and was dreaming, impossible things. And pinched skin pain confirms that that he is still not hallucinating...

Even the part of his mind that is not about to explode... deduces that perhaps this is the reason for his rebirth...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**


	5. Star the Rapespawn

**Tales of the Star and Hoodie**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

To say Moon wasn't having a good week was an understatement; her mom dead, the Mewman army ambushed and nearly wiped out, Glossaryck and the book of spells gone missing, and now an all out war threatened her kingdom!

Moon takes a deep breath and braced herself as she entered the warroom

"I swear it wasn't my orders!" Shouts Archduke Batwin. Mina whips Batwin with her pigtails. "You shut up during your confession!" Shouts Mina. Moon approaches a meeting room table where Mildrew, the royal guard babysitter, Lekmet, Rhombulus, Omnitraxus Prime, and Hekapoo are sitting. "Mina, What is going on?" Asks Moon.

Mildrew pulls a chair out for Moon, but Moon pushes the chair back and then pulls it out herself before sitting down. "_What_ is going on?" She asks again with emphasis.

Mina snarled, "According to this _dingus_ here, one of his mooks lammed off with half his army, and they're the ones who put your mama in a wooden nightgown!" Suddenly looks uncomfortable. "Uh...You know, they, uh... T-They put her on ice. Uh, drapes down in funtown- Moon

"Thank you, Mina." Cut off Moon annoyed. Mina looks more uncomfortable, "Uh, sorry about your mama."

Batwin continued, "The queen and I were about to sign a peace treaty when one of my generals went rogue." "Rogue wha-who? Asked Mina.

Batwin sighed, "He's known as... th-the "Lizard".

Rhombulus right snake hand stifled a laugh. "Sorry. I mean... the "Lizard"." Left snake hand glared, "Dude, don't laugh. Rhombulus whacked BOTH of them on the table, "Shut it, both of you!" He whispered harshly. He looks at Batwin, "What about the army that popped up and wiped out the Mewman army? You going to blame that on the Lizard too!?"

Batwin just looked baffled, "I don't know anything about that! One moment the queen is dead, the next everything is anarchy! I have no idea where that other army came from! I didn't even get a good look at them with the dust flying around!

Mina gave a dismissive snort, "I've heard enough of this guys baloney! I say Put this guy in the caboose, and let's croak those toads!"

Rhombulus stood up, "I think we should go to war." Mildrew stood and protested, "With what!? We barely have enough soldiers left to protect our people!" Omnitraxus Prime sighed, "And her magic isn't strong enough for war yet." Hekapoo nodded, "Especially against the lizards. They're indestructible." Mina snarled, "We need to go to war!" Hekapoo snarled back, "We need to sign the peace treaty!" Rhombulus jumps onto the table, "Yelling feels really good right now!"

Everyone in the room starts yelling over each other while Moon looks exhausted...

And that's when HE entered the room...

Batwin gave a sigh of relief, "Ah, Plaugeis the Wise! My most trusted advisor! Please tell me you have good news!"

The elderly Muun simply gave him a sad smile. "I'm afraid the situation is more of a 'small glimmer of hope in a dark abyss' then anything old friend."

"Quit your lollygagging!" Shouted Mina, "Spill how the lizard built that army up without anyone noticing and-

"That army did NOT belong to the lizard." Interrupted Plaugeis.

This surprised everyone, "Say what now?" Asked a confused Mina.

"Yes, it would seem that we are a victim of two separate plots. One to kill the Queen the other to kill the Queen AND crash your military capabilities."

"Wait, who was responsible for what?" Asked Rhombulus. Everyone looked at him like he was an idiot before motioning for the monster advisor to continue.

The army was controlled by a foe I think we all hoped we'd seen the last of long ago...

"HA! I DON'T CARE WHO IT IS! BRING THEM ON! BRING THEM ALL ON!" Shouted Mina excited. "TELL ME WHO IT IS AND I'LL PERSONALLY BASH THEIR HEAD IN, SKIP ROPE WITH THEIR SPINE, DRINK THEIR-

"It was General Grevious..."

And like that...Mina's bravado died...as did the composure of everyone else in the room...

Who hadn't heard the tale of General Grevious? The maker of widows, the scourge of Mewmans, the slayer of invincible armies, the vanquisher of Solaria, the cautionary monster tale that parents used to scare their children into line, the rabid Mad Dog warlord of the Kaleesh.

Long ago, during the waning days of Solaria's rule; A distant, distant cousin-clan of the Butterfly monarchy- named the Yam'rii clan- decided to take an expedition to a far flung corner of their dimension to investigate rumors of a bountiful land filled with riches...

They found this and more...however it was currently being occupied by the warrior Kaleesh. Seeing them as primitive, savage monsters; the Yam'rii didn't even bother to attempt diplomacy before calling on their mercenary hordes to forcibly evict them from 'their' land...

...after a VERY one-sided massacre, the few surviving Yam'rii retreated home...

Thirsty for revenge, they weaved a narrative of the Kaleesh being a ruthless monster army with plans to slaughter all Mewmans and THEY- the Yam'rii -being helpless victims whose only crimes were accidentally stumbling upon their wicked plot...

Between Being rich, Mewmans with a (distant)blood connection to their beloved monarchy, and the Kaleesh being an almost unknown 'filthy' monster clan...no one thought twice about believing their story.

Having been told by her (distant) cousins that the Kaleesh were nothing but 'treacherous, cowardly primitives'. Solaria didn't bother to go herself and just sent several dozen legions of the normal Mewman army to handle what she assumed would be quick victory...

Months later...an enraged Grevious would come to Mewni with his army, and the heads of all Mewman soldiers she'd sent now on pikes they brandished proudly...

What happened next was one of the most devastating losses the Mewni kingdom had EVER experienced...

True, they eventually won and the Kaleesh were all wiped out...but not before Queen Solaria, her entire elite Solarian warrior forces(Mina was the only survivor), Magic High Commission council members **Lekmet** and Reynaldo, and half of every Mewman man, woman and child in in the kingdom were slaughtered.

For although their numbers were smaller, each individual Kaleesh was worth a hundred normal Mewmans soldiers in both strength, skill, bloodlust, senses and cunning.

They're species also had the unique ability of being completely immune to magic in almost all forms. True, this meant that they could never use magic for themselves or have beneficial magic cast on them...but such a trade-off was well worth it in their eyes.

They also had in their arsenal two important weapons: Zillo blades and venom of the Murakami orchid.

Zillo metal: forged from the bones and plates of the mighty zillo beasts, these swords could cut through anything, even MAGIC.

Murakami orchid venom: tipping this venom on their blades and arrows, anyone who survives being cut with it will turn into a zombie. The Kaleesh are required to eat the petals of the orchid(which contain a much weaker strain of the poison then the actual venom) as a rite of passage to adulthood. This not only gives them immune to the venom's effect but zombies will actually IGNORE the immune Kaleesh and focus on their enemies.

It was only through superior numbers, better logistics and Lekmet's sacrifice were they able to 'win' in the end.**  
**

Although the Kaleesh leaders body was never found...everyone assumed/hoped that Lekmet's curse had eventually killed him even if he had survived the final battle...

But it would seem that hope was in vain...

Screams of 'Impossible!', 'Your lying!' and 'How can this be?!' Were all thrown across the war room. But Plaugeis simply weathered all this unperturbed...he silently brought forth his evidence...and little by little the yelling ended...and everyone felt like the end was truly nigh...

Moon could fell her breaths becoming more labored...why was this happening to her? She was no ruler! She wasn't ready for this! She couldn't even summon the courage to ask out the boy she liked for crying out loud!

Desperately trying to keep her composure, she turned to Mina to ask what they should do...only to find her gone! And in her place...a note:

**I QUIT**

**Your all screwed!**

**Good bye and good luck!**

Rhombulus gulped... "Did...did Mina just...RUN away from a fight?" He asked in horrified disbelief.

"Yes", whispered a now deathly pale Moon...

There was a long pause...

"WERE ALL GONNA DIE!"

All facades of order vanished as the room fell to chaos...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


End file.
